Saying very little with a whole lotta words.
It’s Sunday night and I am spent. The kids are out of whack because of the Friday snow day, daylight savings and three straight days of pizza eating. Presently, my toddler is shaking the side rails of her crib like a monkey in a cage who wants out. She knows it’s really only 9pm, not 10pm like the clocks say, and she won’t be sleeping for another hour and is letting me know that she doesn’t appreciate the smoke and mirrors. At all.
Anyway, this is what has gone on in our house the last few days.
- The big news is that my son’s hockey team won the Larry Fournier Tournament for their division. I never thought I’d be that parent cheering wildly in the stands, ringing a cow bell and shaking pompoms. But I am. And I’m okay with that. The kids were on fire and words can’t describe how proud I am of the Newburyport Clippers Mite 2 team and their efforts on the ice. In the championship game, the kids played a nail-biter and then won in sudden death overtime 4-3. Braedan scored a hat trick and the MVP award. I am that parent who was moved to tears with pride and screeched like a hyena from the stands at the Graf.
- My son is gearing up for his first Science Fair and I am gearing up to not take over the entire project because I am a control freak. Braedan and his friend, Jack, will grow crystals with borax. Braedan, a self-proclaimed crystal expert, is ecstatic. The Science Fair brings back memories of History Day competitions and waterfalls of tears when my friends and I didn’t win. I was such a nerd. Yes, I said was.
- I got my hair cut and the grays colored, which knocks at least 6 months off my appearance.
- I joined Twitter (@pbjchardonnay). And even though I currently have only 28 followers, I can’t stop checking it. I haven’t quite figured it all out yet, but all anyone on Twitter really wants is some follower love. But not from the scantily-clad women sucking in their cheeks, thank you.
- Friday turned out to be a snow day! We watched movies, ate snacks, bickered and went to the dentist (see below).
- Took the boys to the dentist and was informed that they would both most likely need braces. F’ing spectacular.
- Winter is coming, and I am giddy with excitement. To prepare for season 3 of HBO’s Game of Thrones, we’ve been re-watching seasons 1 and 2 to refresh our memories. I heart John Snow, Arya Stark and Tyrion Lannister. I absolutely loathe Prince Joffrey. So much so that if I ever saw the actor Jack Gleeson on the street, I wouldn’t be able to help myself from shouting “Die you Baratheon bastard!” and charge at him with a pair of eyebrow tweezers.
- We’ve been playing lots of musical beds here in the middle of the night, which is not nearly as exciting as it sounds. When do kids start sleeping through the night? Because we’ve been waiting seven years.
- I managed to resist the urge to buy Nutella at the grocery store this week.
- I finally asked for a new membership card at the gym. I have lost three in the past two months and my schtick of fumbling around in my pockets, pretending to be surprised it wasn’t there was getting old. I did, however, wait until the weekend so that the regulars working the desk wouldn’t know that, in addition to not working out regularly, I was also terribly disorganized.
- During a Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru run yesterday, I ordered two medium regular iced coffees. The voice coming through the black box responded. “Um…hmm…I don’t really feel like making them. It’s so nice out.” Then, silence. Confused (and half-wondering if this was some really weak What Would You Do? segment and John Quinones would be standing at the window with my drinks when I drove up) I chuckled awkwardly at the black box. Then the voice laughed and asked “Anything else?” No. Just the coffees, weirdo.
That’s all the big news. The past week or two, I’ve also made notes of some funny things my kids have said. Here they are.
Colin: Do snake/sink rhyme?
Colin: Well, they rhyme to me.
Braedan, looking at his MVP trophy from the weekend tournament: I know a lot about crystals and minerals, and this is pure gold.
Colin, collapsing on the minivan floor after preschool pickup: Mom, I’m tired. I’m getting old.
Braedan: Can I have a pickaxe for my birthday?
Me: (Looking at him askew.)
Braedan: What? I want to dig for crystals in caves!
Colin, after being told he couldn’t drink Aria’s Pedialyte: But when am I going to have diarrhea? I want to try it!